I honestly do not, cannot, comprehend the Love of my Savior. Of late I have been going through a great deal things that has really caused me to hide out. I tend to run away when I'm upset. While I may never physically leave, it is evident that I am closed off emotionally. I usually find some "noble" task to throw myself into for a time and then I gradually come back to normal. Lately I have been throwing myself headlong into school work and my job. The thing is, those things do nothing but create more stress in my life.
A couple of nights ago I found myself in a crumpled heap on the floor of my bedroom. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was hiding. I had to throw myself into the arms of Christ in total surrender. There is a place where it suddenly becomes apparent that you just can't handle things on your own, or that you don't want to try anymore. That is where I was. Tired of making it work or pushing through feeling like I was just doing meaningless things.
In the arms of my savior I know I am safe. No one can harm me, my fears are silly in the face of his powerful protection. I always come to this place wondering what took me so long to get there. Loving Jesus is the greatest joy there is. Jesus loved me first...to me that just means so much. Doesn't it seem at times when you reach out to someone that perhaps you are unwanted? Jesus didn't even wait for me to reach out to Him, He reached out to me and loved my through a cross. "Oh how I love Jesus, oh how I love Jesus, oh how I love Jesus! because He first loved me!"