I am so tired and so busy I should really not be writing this at all. Somehow I have allowed myself to become ill during this most stressful of weeks making it all the more stressful. Tomorrow is where the rubber meets the road, I have an important exam (as if there is such a thing as an unimportant exam), as well as 2 quizzes and to top it all off I will be on edge all day waiting to hear the results of my dear friends biopsy.
I hate the idea of finding out the news the thought of a time frame for how long he will live. I know that for him heaven is good, however, I love him so and he is so much like family to me I don't want to let him go.
It will all be over, but unlike most the idea of it being over gives me little relief. If it is over but I failed well then I still failed. I need to let it all go and give it to the one in control, I'm so dreadfully bad at holding on to the stressors in my life, but I would much rather give this to Jesus.
And so my Love...here it is all of the baggage and terror that I hold in my tinny hands I haven't the strength to keep it on my own...
Love,
Rose
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
stand
Today has been a day that I did not exactly enjoy which is why it is so puzzling that I do not wish to go to bed and end it. Non the less I sit here at the wee hours of the mourning with an early class looming in my future and too much on my mind to let it rest.
Yesterday afternoon, my dad gave me the news that a dear friend of mine has cancer, and that it is severe. Every word I get from home is a bad one as far as he is concerned. Today the weight has just been so terribly heavy. I spoke with my Mother on the phone and she could not begin to hide how badly she was doing physically.
I imagine an appropriate description of my emotional state would be the sweater that has been snagged on something and a single thread is continuously being pulled, eventually but gradually the sweater completely unravels...I just pray no one is around when that happens.
A verse my Dad likes to quote cam to my mind through out this day of frustrations,
Ephesians 6:3
"Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."
Yesterday afternoon, my dad gave me the news that a dear friend of mine has cancer, and that it is severe. Every word I get from home is a bad one as far as he is concerned. Today the weight has just been so terribly heavy. I spoke with my Mother on the phone and she could not begin to hide how badly she was doing physically.
I imagine an appropriate description of my emotional state would be the sweater that has been snagged on something and a single thread is continuously being pulled, eventually but gradually the sweater completely unravels...I just pray no one is around when that happens.
A verse my Dad likes to quote cam to my mind through out this day of frustrations,
Ephesians 6:3
"Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."
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