why healingrose???

I thought I should address the reason that I have this weird name "healingrose".
The story starts way, way long ago. I was just little thing attending a funeral for the first time, my grandfather had passed away. The only thing I remember really about the whole day was the rose I held in my tiny hand, Momma instructed me to toss it on the coffin, which I did. That image of the rose on the glossy wood stuck with me for a very long time. In my mind I always thought of roses as a death flower. Something sad. I hated them actually for the very longest time. People always thought I was so odd to hate such a gorgeous flower. But they were just sad in my mind.
Years later, I attended a Woman's conference at a church in Alaska. One of the speakers was talking about how we miss identify ourselves in Christ because of how we have seen things on earth, tainted by sin. We expect that God's love really has a condition on it, even though we know it doesn't. We think of ourselves in the light of our failures and shortcomings. Sometimes we miss name ourselves. That is to say we all have this thing that we say yeah that's me. Mine has always been Eeyore. I'm the mopey one always finding something to be depressed about. The speaker posed to us all that God has a name for each and everyone of us, and it is likely the opposite of how you see yourself. Something that Satan has been lying to you about for so long that you just believed it. She asked us to all pray that God would reveal what His name for us was. I struggled to figure out what it could be, thinking hard, and then I just genuinely asked Jesus to show me, promising that I would not try to push it away in disbelief. That very same moment The most vivid picture came to rest in front of my minds eye. The picture I saw was a rose, a beautiful rose. I began to cry as a went back in my head to remember how I had always seen roses as sad flowers. But suddenly I was seeing them as Christ, just so beautiful. I'm a rose in the eyes of my savior, precious and beautiful. Most of the time that isn't how I feel so He takes me back and reminds me that he doesn't make junk, and He made me the way I am special just how he wants me. The problem is I've allowed things in my life, to make me less than perfect. Well that comes from sin nature too, we all come short. So I'm not just a rose, I'm a rose trampled, droopy, maybe a little torn. I have to get back to the beauty that I am supposed to have in Christ, thus I am a healing rose.